About six weeks ago I got my second YA novel to the point where I felt comfortable showing it to people, and I sent it out to some readers. While I was waiting to hear back, I decided to try to revise my middle-grade novel.
It went terribly. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll someday figure out what needs to be done with this book, but for now I simply have no idea how to make it better. I think, honestly, that the love is simply not there anymore. I wrote it more than two years ago, and at this point I no longer even know why I’m working on it.
Anyway, at the same time, my mood plummeted, and I started feeling bad about my writing career and a whole lot of other things. I stopped writing, stopped updating my to-do lists and spreadsheets, and I stopped updating this blog.
I feel a lot better now, but I still don’t fully know the ramifications of what happened. Nothing actually changed and none of my problems went away. I just feel better about them now.
I’ve gotten back comments on my YA novel, and I’m excited about tackling it again. There are flaws, but I think I know how to fix some of them. And there is a core there that is good. I’m happy I’ve taken the time to really work on it. I’ve learned a lot about the kind of stories I want to write. But I also don’t know what the future holds. I really doubt that these six weeks will be the last time my writing career has me feeling low.