There are two blog posts that I want to do my best to avoid, so I’m going to post about plastic surgery

p16nq7mu4916hl1bbt1de6dtfci60_8285I’m a longtime reader of blogs, and there are two surefire signs that a blog is done. The first is when the writer is constantly posting about how they’re sorry it’s been so long since they’ve posted. Notice, it’s not actually a problem to take a gap of weeks or even months between posts. What’s a problem is when all you can talk about is the gap. Because that means that even when you’re present, you’re not really present.

Secondly, I don’t ever want to post about how I’m having trouble thinking about something to write about. Because that’s also just spinning wheels. I’d rather post about something really silly or trivial than post about that.

Luckily, I have my trust fall-back when writing blog posts. Actually, I have two fallbacks. The first is to write about books. Which I can’t do, because I’ve been reading the same book for weeks. Secondly, I just overshare like crazy.

For instance, yesterday I was talking with a friend about what plastic surgeries we’re thinking about getting done. This is not a speculative conversation. We’re both seriously considering these various procedures. For me, I was saying that I wouldn’t be averse to getting my loose skin taken in surgically once my weight loss was done-ish. Because you know what? It does kind of sag. And it is not the best. I have no idea how much that costs, but I think I could maybe afford it within a few years.

Secondly, if there was a surgery that really restored your hair, I would be so on top of that! Seriously, I’d spend a lot of money to have hair. Unfortunately, all the existing treatments are a bit unsatisfactory, so I guess I’ll just keep shaving my head. But hair. My god, the guy who figures out how to really give you back your hair will be so wealthy.

I guess I’d also consider getting my eyes fixed. I have super astigmatism, so regular lasik wouldn’t do it. But there are procedures that’d take care of me. I mean, contact lenses are okay, but they’re a bit of a hassle. And I feel like glasses make me look like a goober.