I might’ve discovered a heretofore unremarked-upon youth subculture

I tried to find pictures of what they looked like, but there was literally nothing. The tight pants / mullet combo is unprecedented in the history of man.
I tried to find pictures of what they looked like, but there was literally nothing. The tight pants / mullet combo is unprecedented in the history of man.

The other day, I was sitting at Tea Fever in Berkeley (which is just a block from Berkeley High School) and watching the people who were lined up at the door of the ice cream place next door. And that’s when I spotted a rather odd-looking fellow. Unfortunately, my phone ran out of batteries as I was attempting to take a photo of him, so you’ll need to listen to a verbal description.

This guy–I’m pretty sure he was in high school–was about six feet tall and had a big blonde mullet hanging behind his baseball cap. He also had a button down shirt tucked into the waist of his really tight pants, an was wearing Timbalands and a bead necklace.

Even when he was by himself, I was like, err, what is happening here? Who is this kid?

AND THEN MORE OF THEM APPEARED.

Four more guys showed up! All of them with mulletastic haircuts and baseball caps and tucked-in shirts and tight pants (not jeans, some other kind of pants). Only their footwear varied. One was wearing sneakers. Another was wearing patent-leather shoes. I kind of expected them to be surly Danny Zucco types, but then they started coming into Tea Fever and asking for water, and they seemed really respectful and polite. They were like (my conception of) field hands who’ve gotten dressed up to go to the church social.

I watched them for almost half of an hour as they lounged around outside the ice cream shop, eating ice cream and shooting the shit. I couldn’t believe it. I came this close to walking up to them and saying, “Err, what is this guys? What is this? Is this a thing?”

And then, just when my incredulity was stretched to the limit, two girls appeared! Yes, the mullet crew also had a female component! Two slouchy-looking girls in baggy pants and loose t-shirts. I do not know what the relationship between these dress styles are. To be honest, I am wondering if there was some homosexual component to the whole milieu. But I guess I will never know (at least until the mullet look becomes mainstream in like three years and some social anthropologist traces the whole thing back and tells us how it originated).